Thoughts after 4 Weeks

Does anyone still read this?? Whoops!  Photo overload at the bottom....

I'm just going to throw out some quick thoughts, because I'm not sure how long this guy will let me type for. :)

Whew. I'm slowly trying to catch up on everyone's blogs today and wow is it emotional. So far I've cried from pregnancy announcements, pregnancy losses, and stories of continued infertility. All while my own miracle sleeps with his face nestled into my neck. I'm a basket case of thankfulness and gratitude for all of the happy endings, especially my own, and of sorrow for everyone else.

I've been posting photos of this guy on facebook and kicking myself for being THAT person. I'm so worried that these photos are causing pain to someone out there in facebook land. At the same time, so many people prayed for us to have this miracle baby... so many people are constantly asking for photos and updates. Too many to send photos to individually. Idk. Thank Gd for all of this support and love. I hope he's only bringing joy.

Homeboy is doing so incredibly well bh. I need to finish typing our birth story. He was 9lbs at birth and 22.5". He 'd only lost 2oz by the 1 week appt and was actually up to 9lbs 13 oz and 23.5" by the 4 week appt. :) He's in the 99th percentile for height, but only 55th for weight. Tall and skinny- yet another set of traits he got from E and not me... he looks almost exactly like E. And has E's generally calm and happy demeanor. Occasionally he makes a face that looks like my baby photos... and he totally loses his Shittake if he's hungry, hot or cold. All of that is from me, haha. Poor kid. He loves snuggles but only sits still when he's sleeping. And he's crazy super alert. He skipped the whole super sleepy infant stage entirely.

It's been 4 weeks and 1 day but I still hold my breath and watch him while he's sleeping and pray for him to still be breathing. Is it the years of infertility that have me so scared that this miracle could disappear or be taken away??

E had to go back to work a week and a half after the baby was born. He had a week of regular shifts and then began two weeks of training for a new unit at work. He gets up at 5:40am and training is until 4pm but he has school two nights a week and on one of those nights he doesn't get home until 10:30/11pm. So he's exhausteddd and not home so much. Thank Gd the last day is tomorrow and then he's back to normal shifts (on the new unit) next week! And super thankfully Homeboy is a pretty fantastic sleeper (also from me!) at night. During the day he takes catnaps but is pretty alert the rest of the day and kind of needs to be entertained.

He LOVES walking around in his Ergo.

He snores. And it's adorable. He also smiles after he farts.

Confession time: We're generally pumping and bottle feeding him the breastmilk. The NICU situation sort of messed up our straight-up nursing beginnings but we've seen lactation consultants and can actually nurse now with the help of a nipple shield. Which is great. I'm trying to get myself to feed him that way more often but the pump is so much easier and faster... and I'm impatient. Oh, and he's impatient too. Infants are so irrational. ;) But yeah. That's our biggest struggle right now. That nursing weirds me out and stresses me out and I need to get over it before he forgets how to do it altogether and I'm stuck pumping forever. Wish us luck.

My brain just blanked on all of the other things I wanted to say, so I'll just  add a few photos and call it a day...

Also, I think I'm going back on Low Amylose once we're 6 weeks postpartum. I'm still almost 25lbs more than I was pre-pregnancy. I don't know what I weighed at the very end but it was crazy higher than I wanted it to be and just eating healthy AND nursing isn't budging the scale an inch. So it seems like LA is the way to go again. I'm compiling some new recipes already. I'll keep you updated on that. Also need to work on the nursery so you'll get those updates too hopefully.

...we'll see.