Saying Sayonara with Some Vino

Was that multilingual enough for you? It better be... K so here's the thing. 2013 can bite me. It wasn't a great year. Needless to say, I'm stoked to get rid of it. I'm a little bit of a nut about calendar dates and anniversaries and whatnot, so I'm welcoming the proverbial "New Beginning" with open arms. 

But what's a goodbye party without a little vino? Well, my friends, we now have a brand new way to showcase all of our delicious bottles. A few months ago, I finally managed to find the Ikea VURM wine rack in the store. No, they're not so popular that they're constantly sold out. I just get overwhelmed at Ikea and can never find anything I'm looking for. No offense, Ikea. I am, however, a pro at finding a million things that I don't actually need. Oh well. 

Then came the task of figuring out where to put it. E actually asked me in the store, "Where do you plan on putting that?" and I feigned some semblance of a solid answer with vague, rambling words describing some place in between the kitchen and breakfast nook. But that's all I knew. That's because I ended up moving around a bunch of stuff to make this work. And E was a legend and took the time to carefully hang both of them up.

I'm searching high and low for the before pic. I'll add it when I find it. At any rate, here are the afters:

Puh-lease ignore the unfinished trim/door painting jobs. Never quite got around to cutting in. Guess that's what 2014 is for...

Panorama, Panorama, Everybody's Coming To Get Me.

Remember this song? From the 90's? Okay, so the original might've been about Paranoia, not Panoramas, but just go with it. K? 

Thought I'd finally give you a glance at the living room. Hence the panorama reference. Yeah, I think you get it. Sorry about the poor lighting, but I really don't like the overhead lights and it's super cozy like this in real life.

 

 As you can see, it could use some straightening up. I actually just threw a huge stack of old magazines into the recycling (see those trash bags in the hallway? Proof!).

Aside from tidying, here's my current to-do list:

• Switch the couches. I originally wanted the smaller couch on that wall because we had another end table next to it. But two end tables eventually proved to be too much furniture in a small Brooklyn apartment, so we moved one into our entryway and the lamp was relocated to the guest room nightstand. Good move. Now that we're down to one end table, I think the smaller couch would be better in front of the windows. It'll look like less furniture when you walk into the room. I think.
• Hang more things. We have 3 teardrop hanging vases from CB2 that were hanging up when the living room furniture was in another configuration. I love, love, love them but when we I rearranged the furniture for the 60th time, E made me promise to wait until I was sure I loved this set up before drilling any more holes in the walls. I want to put them next to the mirror, and hang that print between the one of the Chasidic Farbrengen (by the talented Elke Reva Sudin) and the bookcase. I think I'll keep the Ikea Stockholm bowl hanging on the wall, but maybe lower it. 
• Move the floor lamp. I actually did this tonight, right before I took the photos. The floor lamp had been in front of the Ikea bowl, but then all of our lighting was on one side of the room. I want to plug it into a different outlet so the wire isn't in front of the bookcase, but I need E to move the other bookcase in order for that to happen.
• Reorganize the bookshelves. They drive me crazy because they look so cluttered.
• Get things professionally framed. That's something I want to do all around the apartment. Some things just need to be matted, but the Elke Reva Sudin painting really needs a specially made frame because the print is an odd size. 
• Do something with the desk. A big chunk of wood chipped off in our move, so at minimum I'd like to stain that area. Or something. 
• Add something to the back of the bookshelves. My father-in-law actually made those for us as a wedding gift. I love them. They have really pretty detailing. I'd like to get some foam board and cover it with grass cloth or something along those lines. A couple of years ago I did that with a yellow silk fabric and it was nice but it was too much pattern. I want something natural.

I need E to hurry up and eat that Chanukah House. And we have a framed "last name meaning" certificate stuck behind the desk that obviously doesn't belong there. And a hot water urn on the side table that I was using to make tea. :) But otherwise, that's about it... "Short" list, huh?

Let's Talk About Sperm, Baby...

Sperm, sex. Same thing, right?

Ugh.

I don't really have anything inspiring to say. I'm doing better today. Yesterday, I was completely broken. Part of me was so sure that this was the month. I was petrified of having a miscarriage, petrified of something happening during labor, petrified of something happening to our baby. But I really, really thought that this was our month.

We'd done everything "right". I'd lost weight, I was (okay, sort of) doing really well on Low Amylose. I was taking my meds on time. I'd produced not one but two follicles and I ovulated!! We even managed to get an iui done for the very first time.

Okay, so honestly, there was a little mishap there, and the more I think about it, the more I'm coming to terms with that being why it didn't work.

Here's the thing. We're religious Jews, so that whole masturbation thing is a big no-no for us. "Spilling one's seed", and all. So to obtain E's sample, we have to use this medical condom with a hole poked in it, and then empty the semen into a sterilized cup, stick it under one of our armpits, and verrrry carefully run downstairs to a cab (without shaking the sample) and book it to the RE's office. Then, even more fun, the sample needs to be watched by someone who knows all of these Jewish laws from the minute we hand the sample over to the RE or NP or whoever, up until they begin the actual iui, specifically to make sure they don't mix E's sample up with someone else's. So we have to pay $100 for a lady "mashgiach" to do this every time we do an iui. It's crazy, it's an added burden, it's frustrating. But that's what we do, and I guess it's nice to know there's an additional thing keeping everything in check. There's a word for that. Whatever.

Like I said, it was huge that we made it to this iui because we've attempted to do an iui twice before and we didn't make it to the RE's office either of those times. Third time's the charm? Y'see, these medical condoms are super uncomfortable. They're tight, they're made out of a totally different material than normal condoms, they're super thick and not at all stretchy. And there's no lubrication because they need to be sterile. So they really kind of hurt... both to wear and to, uh, experience? This is so ridiculous. Anyway, we didn't make it twice before because the condom broke both times, and  so we just ended up doing timed intercourse. This time we were ALMOST successful but the condom broke, yet again, at the last second. TMI? Possibly. Lucky for us, we'd bought two condoms this time ($15 freaking dollars each) and so we pulled it together and successfully collected a sample.

Yay, us. The problem is, you're supposed to abstain from sex for 2-3 days prior to collecting a sample so that the sperm count will be ideal, but because of our condom mishap, our abstinence time ended up being... oh, about 45 minutes. Right. Ah, and then, since we were running so late (we were supposed to be there at 7:15a for an 8am iui and got there around 9:30am) not just because of all the condom drama, but because this all happened in the middle of a freaking blizzard, we were flustered and forgot to dump the sample into the sterile cup. We just threw the whole condom into the cup. Which, of course, made the whole sample unsterile because of the outside of the condom. Right. #winning

So, as you can guess, E's sperm stats weren't super ideal. After the NP had washed and checked out the sperm, E asked her "How'd we do?" and her response was something like "I mean, they were terrible..."

Right. Ouch. Not exactly what you wanna hear.
The exact in-office stats were:
Volume: 1.8mL (Normal = 2mL or more)
Concentration: 24.5 x 10^6mL (Normal = 20 x 10^6mL or more)
% Motility: 47% (Normal = 50% or more)
Debris: 3 (Normal = 1-2)

So, yeah. Not great. Below average on 2, more "debris" than preferable, but in the normal range for "concentration"! That's gotta be worth something, right? And this was after 45 minutes of abstinence AND trekking through a blizzard. C'mon. Those little guys deserve a medal or something.

Idk. The RE is going to talk to us about this, among other things, on Friday. I'll just be a nervous wreck until then.

I'm also going to be praying that I don't get my period before then, because I haven't had it since AUGUST and when I had it then, it lasted for like 2 months. I cannot wait that long to start another cycle. Enough is enough.

And the test was....

Negative. FML.

Ramblings Part IV

Jusssst crawled back into bed after coming home from the RE's office. Had my "2 week" blood work done. Aka my pregnancy test. I'm FREAKING OUT. I really feel like it's going to be a BFN. Like, I would be floored if it wasn't. But that might be my brain just trying to protect me from getting my hopes up.

Been super emotional still. I was pretty fine over Shabbos, we went and stayed with some friends in (on??) Long Island. I couldn't sleep at all Friday night, though. I think it was a combination of a strange bed/place and E's over-the-top snoring. At least he slept well.

Been really nauseous but I think it's my nerves. Also, I'm exhausted because last night I had training at work until 10:45pm. Then I was too nervous about this morning to go to bed so we played Trivial Pursuit. We have the "family edition" (is that ironic? I still don't know) so I usually use the kid cards and E uses the adult ones because he's brilliant. But last night he made me answer only adult card questions because I've won the past like 10 games... AND I STILL WON. By three pie slices. Trivial Pursuit champion over here.

E ran out to a bodega to grab me some ginger ale... So I'm going to snuggle into bed and try to relax. The RE should be calling sometime in the early afternoon... Wish me luck.

...have I mentioned that I am freaking out??

Cuckoo Over Coca Cola

Still an emotional basket case over here. This new Coca Cola ad that everyone's been posting on FB and that I just finally watched over at Waiting For Baby Bird wasn't helpful. She pretty much summed it up. it should come with a warning for those of us struggling with infertility, thanks to the lyrics "You don't know what it's like" playing over and over again. You'd think I'd be all cried out after this past week. Check it out if you need a cry:

Speaking of crying like a crazy person... last night E ran out to do an errand for me and I put "ice cream cone- please don't fight me on this one" on the list. I had mean that I wanted one of those ones you find in the freezer section, individually wrapped, like with ice cream in it an chocolate and nuts on top. When he came home with a box of ice cream cones, I had a toooootalllllll meltdown. Tears just came automatically pouring out before I could even realize it. And then I felt terrible about crying and making him feel bad and that made it worse and thank G-d he ran out to the store and made it right or Idk what I'd have done in my insanity. Poor E.

If I'm not pregnant, I think it might be time to invest some time and money in a therapist.

What. Is. Wrong. With. Me??

Ramblings Part III

I guess this "Ramblings" thing is becoming a... thing.

First of all, exciting news, the RE office called and my progesterone levels are "perfectly normal". YAY ME! This is our first-ever iui cycle, but I don't think they've ever been normal on other non-iui cycles. I had my cell phone next to me all day, waiting for them to call but missed it because I'm a genius and had the volume turned off. So I heard the progesterone news via voicemail, and she added that "Normally we'd do the pregnancy test blood work on Wednesday, but Wednesday is a holiday, so you should come in Thursday for that." Cue the record screeching to a halt sound. SAY WHAT?!

 THURSDAY?! As in SIXTEEN DAYS after my iui?! Hellzzzz no. Like an idiot, I freaked out and ran into the bedroom and woke E up. Somehow, in his deep-sleep stupor, he was able to remind me that the nurse who'd called probably didn't know that I was supposed to have gone in for my progesterone blood work yesterday, not today, and therefore my pregnancy test should be Tuesday, not Wednesday.

And then he fell back asleep. Of course, I was satisfied with that answer for about two full seconds before panic attack #2 came on. But what if they don't know!? He suggested that we call them tomorrow but quickly realized that I would have worried myself into oblivion by then so he had me dial the number and called them back. He explained the situation to the nurse and she said oh yeah, hands down come in Tuesday. Then he confirmed about 5x (for my sake) that Tuesday was the day to come in, and no, it wouldn't be too early, and no, Thursday wouldn't be a more accurate test. Homeboy covered all his bases. #lifesaver

While I was on the phone with my mom later (she's been getting updated after all the appointments because apparently blogging about it isn't enough for me, haha), I asked her if she'd had morning sickness when she was pregnant with my brother and me. She said she did not have morning sickness with either of us! Lucky lady. She just craved Chinese food and Dairy Queen with me, and said the smell of pizza made her super nauseous when she was pregnant with my brother. I wish I could take that as a good sign, but she's a freaking tough cookie. Her birth story from when she had me is this: "I didn't get an epidural, because back then they were supposedly super risky, and I could hear all of these women in the nearby rooms screaming their heads off and I thought, 'uh oh'. But then I pushed all 9lbs of you out, and yeah it hurt, but Idk what they were all screaming about." Yeah. That's my mom. I clearly did not inherit her pain tolerance. I'm the biggest wuss in the world. Although the truth is that while I scream bloody murder every time E accidentally steps on my foot or something, if I'm in actual pain and other people are around, I'm a pretty silent sufferer. The nurses at the RE are always asking "Does that not hurt??" while they're jabbing me with the internal ultrasound and I'm like "Uh, no it definitely does" and they're like "Wow, you're so quiet." So Idk.

I also started my special folic acid pills today called Folgard RX 2.2. That ups my daily pill count to 6, but at least I don't have to take progesterone! 

My boss texted me to find out what shifts I'm able to work in January. Ruh roh. I asked E what he thought I should do (the schedule with be finished by next week when I know my situation). He was like "Well in January, you won't have to go in nearly as often." ...huh? "You'll only be going into the office occasionally, it won't be like this month" Oh, honey. That's only if I'm actually pregnant. "Oh... right. Huh." He's usually super rational/level-headed about the what-if aspect of this, I'm nervous that he's going to be heartbroken if it doesn't happen. As for work: If I am pregnant, I have to decide whether to quit or not. And if I'm not... I'm in the same boat as December, not being able to work morning shifts sometime 4x/week. I'm not really sure what to do.

Ok, last bit: I know its crazy early to report on symptoms, and I always feel like a moron when they call with my BFN after my 999 "FOR SURE" signs that I was pregnant, but apparently I don't learn and I'm gonna do it anyway. This is my first cycle in over a year, so gimme a break.
Here we go:
-TMI alert: I have a ton of CM. Like I keep freaking out because I keep thinking my period came. But it's creamy and white. I know, gross. I don't think that's ever happened before. Could be wrong.

-Still ex-freaking-hausted. I have a women's group that I go to on Tuesday evenings where a few of us get together and learn something Jewish. It's at 8:30pm. By 5:30pm I was falling on my face tired. So I decided to (big mistake) lay in bed and update my iphone/delete some photos. I think I fell asleep at 8pm (the class is an under-10 minute walk away) and didn't wake up until 11:30.

-At 11:30, the reason I woke up was because I had this HORRIFIC nightmare. This gets a little graphic: I was babysitting E's cousin's daughter with my mom and E's mom, and these guys were trying to kidnap her and chased us through an inner city for a crazy long time and then they caught us and they shot me twice- once in the face and once in the stomach. Turns out I was pregnant. First of all, WHAT? Second of all, I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T DIE IN YOUR OWN DREAMS!? Also, let me just say that I never have vivid dreams at home. We have friends that live in Massachusetts and in their old apartment, I would have a crazy vivid dream every single time we'd stay with them. Like every single night. It was something about that house. But at home? Nothing. And now I've had memorable dreams the past 2 nights. Crazy pants.

-My boobs are sore. Not like when I was ovulating- they were crazy sore all over at that point. Now they just hurt when they get bumped or touched, but when they hurt they hurttt.

-I'm having food cravings and aversions, but I do that every day of my life, so that's nothing new.

-I'm feeling nauseous 24/7, but again, that's the norm for me. I really need to see a GI doctor at some point. I thought the Low Amylose diet would solve my problems, but it hasn't totally done so. Things are better than they were but they're far from perfect.

-I'm hyper emotional. I don't have the greatest temper in general, but lately I haven't been getting angry. Just emotional. Everything makes me cry. I made E watch that video of the kids and staff in the Richmond Children's Hospital singing Katy Perry's song "Roar" and I couldn't even be in the same room because I was welling up from the first note. And a friend on FB posted this article and that caused tears, too. Interestingly, after E watched the video, he said "WHY am I going into geriatrics instead of pediatrics?? Kids are so much better. Crap"... thankfully his program is new and doesn't have a pediatrics or Family Practice tract yet, but he said that if they create one before he's done he'll strongly consider switching. I've been saying he should do that all along, but whatever. ;)

Here's that lip synching video:

Tweaked Shepherd's Pie, Low Amylose Style

I make this recipe a lot, and I made it during the snowstorm yesterday for E before his grad school final. It was his last one of the semester! Hurray! I get my husband back!  "Just" doing his 40 hour work week until the end of January will feel like nothing compared to that plus taking 12 credits.

I also happen to call my dad for help with this recipe every. single. time. He's sort of my go-to cooking expert. The man loves the Food Network. Seriously, every time we visit my parents either the Food Network or ESPN/NESN is on 24/7. He must legit think I'm an idiot, because I've called to ask him about how he makes Shepherd's Pie at least 3x in the past 2 months.

I like this recipe, which I'd tweaked to make Low Amylose friendly, because it's easy and packs a lot of punch. It's filling, it's got protein and two types of vegetables. I know, right? I use frozen veggies but if you're less inept than I am, you can spend the time and use fresh ones.

Ingredients:
1 pack frozen Bird's Eye Winter Squash
Enough frozen peas to cover the meat in your pan
Ground Beef
Onions (Ideally.)
Garlic salt
Onion powder (If you're onion-less)
Pepper

If you have onions on hand, go you. I always, always, always forget about the onions until I call my dad and ask "Should I use oil in the frying pan for the meat?" And he's like "Only if you're sauteing the onions first... then use a little bit" and I'm like "D'OH!!!! ONIONS!" The truth is, we have a bunch of caramelized onions in the freezer that I made after last Passover. We had so many onions leftover that I spend a whole day cutting them up and caramelizing them in our crock pot. But They're frozen in a solid block because I didn't think far enough in advance to split them up into meal-sized portions, so only E knows/is able to break chunks off. #winning

So, yeah, if you have onions, go ahead and saute them in your skillet. 

When they're delicious looking/smelling, add in your ground beef, or "Hamburger meat" as my dad calls it. Also add some garlic salt, pepper, and onion powder to taste.

While you're stirring that around, throw your unwrapped, frozen winter squash into a small pot and follow the directions on the box (this method involves 1/2 c of water). We don't have a microwave but if you do, I think there are also directions for how to cook it in there. I throw in some of the same spices I added to the meat while I'm at it. 

When the meat is cooked, spread it out on the bottom of your pan (I used a round one w/ parchment paper on the bottom for easier cleanup).

Cover it with frozen peas.

Cover that with the cooked Winter Squash.

Stick it in the oven at 350 for about 30 minutes. You just want the top to get browned a little (and the peas to not be frozen anymore. Duh.

And serve!

E was super excited about this when he woke up for class (yep you read that right. Welcome to life with a night-shifter) and had two helpings. If you make it, let me know how it turns out and what further tweaks you thought up!

Ramblings Part II

I tried to update the last post but couldn't figure out how to add more after the photo at the end (it wouldn't let me!) But I have more to say.
Speaking of food, Idk if I've mentioned this but a few of my coworkers and I started a weight loss "contest". That word makes it sound crazy but it's really not at all extreme. We each put $50 into the jackpot, and whoever loses the most weight in a month wins it all. I think we're all mature enough to not do anything drastic. I'm being especially careful, but wanted motivation to stay on track with my Low Amylose diet (especially if there's, G-d forbid, a BFN next Tuesday. One. More. Week.) Clearly it did a lot last night during my pizza/milkshake binge. But y'know. I'm actually doing pretty well, weight-wise. I've been SO GOOD about taking my Metformin, which contributed to my horrific upset stomach last night and me re-swearing off carbs fo' lyfe. We started December 9 and are ending January 9, and so far I've lost 4.2lbs. It could obviously be better (Shabbos is my sabotage-r) but we're "scoring" by percentages lost and I'm currently at just over 2%. Yeah, I'm sure you can do that math if you actually care. I'm still 3.8lbs over my lowest while doing Low Amylose, so if I can just freaking break past that this month, I'll be a happy camper. Here's my My Fitness Pal chart from the past month:

It's actually a little inaccurate- I gained from 12/5-12/10. A lot.

Does anyone else read Young House Love? If you don't, you SHOULD. And if you do, did you see their redecorating of the Richmond Children's Hospital waiting room? And the video of all the kid patients and staff lip synching Katy Perry's "Roar"? I balled my eyes out. Like with actual tears. #HotMessAlert

As for "symptoms" since our iui... here goes. E and I were absolutely exhausted last week. I literally couldn't get enough sleep. I'd wake up for a few hours and be dying to go back to bed. Thankfully I've sort of taken some time off from work. I told my boss I was going to be dealing with a "medical situation" and needed to be in the doctor's office in the early mornings for blood work, which really fouled up my work schedule because I normally work 6:30am-9:30am in a special needs residence. So she took me off the schedule for December and said to come in whatever mornings I could. Well, last week I didn't make it in at all. Which is okay job-safety-wise, but that paycheck is gonna hurrrrrt. Honestly, if there's a BFP next week, I might quit. There's a lot of heavy-lifting involved at work, and while I could probably finagle my way out of it a lot, it'd be really complicated and it wouldn't be so fair to my coworkers. Occasionally, there's legit just no way around it... and I'm just not okay with that risk. If there's a BFP, I will absolutely be that paranoid pregnant lady for the next 9 months (8?). I've worked too hard for this to, G-d forbid, lose it because of my job. E and I have actually discussed my quitting once we get that BFP. It's kind of the type of situation where I could probably go back whenever I want... I've been there for over 6 years and there are only 2 people who have worked there longer than me at this point. We'll see. I am going to try and do the morning shift this Thursday though!

Clearly I have high hopes for this cycle. I mean that sarcastically. I'm so afraid of getting that BFP and losing it. I don't think I'll chillax until the kid(s) are born. And even then I'll be afraid for their safety for the rest of my life. Haha. Someone get this gal a chill pill.

K I'm gonna try to be a productive human being now.

Ramblings...

This is just going to be a bunch of random thoughts/updates. Bear with me.

I was added to the Stirrup Queens blogroll this weekend, and I'm really, overly excited about it. I spent a bunch of time checking out all the different parts of the site last night, and I think it's such a great resource. If you happen to be visiting because of that new listing, puh-lease drop me a line to let me know! :)

Last night I didn't go to bed right away as planned. Instead, I forced myself to stay awake until 11pm so I could reorient myself onto a somewhat-normal sleep schedule (I'd become nocturnal. Again.) In addition to obsessing over the Stirrup Queens, and adding a bunch of blogs to my reading list, I answered a questionnaire for a Long Island University, Brooklyn. They're trying to better understand the emotional and psychological impact of infertility on women. Definitely made me confront some serious emotions.

During the questionnaire I learned ("learned" might be a strong word- I'm sure if I'd given it any thought, it would've occurred to me) that iui is considered "artificial insemination". Like I said, it's kind of a no-brainer. But "artificial insemination" sounds so much worse than "iui", doesn't it? I've been artificially inseminated. Like, what? Idk, something about it doesn't sit right. I think it's because we try to keep organic at home (haha) so I've started avoiding anything with "artificial" in it. No artificial sweeteners, colors, you get the drill. We're not insane about it, but we do put in quite a bit of effort (um, and money) into it. So the word artificial has gotten a little vilified around here. And just the principle of it. It's not artificial, really. I'm not getting fake inseminated. I'm still straight-up getting inseminated, just via a different means. I don't know. I think I just need to come to terms with the fact that the word "artificial"isn't evil here like it is in the heath food world.. and yet! It still just doesn't quite apply to iui, etc. They should've used a different word.

Okay, I'm done. Next order of business: As I was hopping into the shower this morning, we got a phone call from our RE's office. Apparently, funny story, we were supposed to go in this morning for blood work, not tomorrow morning. I could have sworn that the NP said "Come back next Wednesday to check your Progersterone" after the iui because we'd been so late for the iui (maybe I'll tell that story another time). Oops. Honestly though, my phone ran out of battery in the middle of the night last night, so my alarm would never have gone off anyway, so it actually all works out because I would've woken up FREAKING OUT if I'd thought I'd missed the appointment. Also, apparently some of my lab work from another visit came back and my folic acid is low so they'll be giving me a special prescription for that tomorrow as well. Yay, more pills!

In a confession that'll prove how "with it" I am (not), it turns out that if you go food shopping two weeks in a row, there's a lot less money in your bank account BUT a lot more food options in the house. And then you eat a more normal diet. And then you're a happier person. Who knew. Here's my snowy morning breakfast (and some dead flowers):

Scottish Breakfast tea with a drop of milk + 1 stevia,
Plain greek yogurt + a teaspoon of honey,
chocolate covered clementines from yesterday's recipe.

Happy National Chocolate Covered Anything Day!

Yep. It's a real thing. Thank the heavens. And here's my contribution:

Chocolate Covered Clementines w/ Sea Salt

I've actually been wanting to do this for some time now, after seeing it floating around Pinterest a while back. I bought the "ingredients" last week but just wasn't finding the motivation. And, honestly, I would've never even gotten around to it today except that as I was about to get into pj's (who am I kidding? I've been in pj's all day!) I caught a Hello Giggles Facebook post that announced that today is National Dip Anything in Chocolate Day (Sorry for the late notice- I was clearly very busy). Aaaaand the fire was officially lit!

These are crazy simple, and E has been making trip after trip back to the kitchen for more ever since he discovered them. 

All you need is: 

• 1 bar of Chocolate (I used sugar free dark chocolate but anything'll work. Also... We were 1 row short of a full bar because chocolate doesn't last long around here)
• 3 clementines 
• A couple of pinches of sea salt
• Wax paper

No, not this kind of Clementine! :)

 Now, you're supposed to use a double broiler or whatever they're called, for this, but we don't have one and I'm too lazy to improvise, so I just broke up the chocolate into it's predetermined squares and threw them into a saucepan. Like so: 

I put the flame on low and got to peeling my clementines, stirring the chocolate in the pan between peeling each one. 

Then I spread the individual slices of clementines out along the wax paper.

To "dip" them I scooped a bit of chocolate up from the pan with a spoon and rolled about half of each slice in the chocolate. I could cover 2-3 slices each time, and found that if I tried to take more chocolate/"dip" more than 3 at a time, the chocolate became too solidified.

Each time I'd finished dipping about 1/3 of the slices, I paused and sprinkled a little bit of sea salt on the dipped chocolate part before it could fully harden on the clementine. 

And that's it!

I'm actually feeling suuuuper lousy right now because I, like an idiot, declared today a Low Amylose cheat day. I had a piece of my favorite Alfredo pizza from my favorite pizza shop. And part of a milkshake (coffee cookies and cream). I know. I should've seen this coming. It happens every time. But I didn't, so now I'm going to peace out and try and sleep it off! Hey, at least these guys were Low Amylose friendly...

Pumpkin Quinoa Oatmeal

If you're like me, this Low Amylose (or gluten-free, etc) diet probably has you craving a good breakfast option. A girl can only eat so many eggs- omelettes, sunny side up, scrambled, hard boiled... Even with all of these variations, it gets old. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love me some good eggs. But even the best things can get overplayed.

Sorry.

Anyway... as your resident Pinterest addict I'd seen this Breakfast Quinoa idea over and over again, so the idea had been floating around in my head for a while. I finally broke down when I found  this recipe one morning, because... hello, it involves pumpkin. So here's my version (with a couple of LA-friendly tweaks).

 

• 1/2 cup rinsed, uncooked quinoa
• 1 cup milk 
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 cup pumpkin purée
• 1 TBS honey
• 1/4 tsp salt
• Toppings of your choice (I obviously used a couple of chocolate chips... because I'm me.)

- Pour the milk, cinnamon and quinoa into a medium pot, bring to a boil.

- Lower the flame and cover 12-15mins, stirring occasionally, until milk is almost entirely absorbed

- Add in the pumpkin, salt and honey and stir until combined

- Throw on any toppings, and you're good to go!

Except that, again, if you're like me, you'll probably have burnt quinoa to scrub off the bottom of your pan. But that can wait unto after breakfast. It "needs" to soak! ;) (While we're on that topic, let's just ignore all of the food splatters on my stovetop, mmmkay? Thanks)

Pinterest Page Update!

Hey guys! I'll be posting as Fruitful Furbishing from now on so that I can be a little bit less easy to find via Google. Because of this, we've also switched our Pinterest page! From now on, if Pinterest is your thing, please follow the board here:

http://www.pinterest.com/ffurbishing/ 

The old one will no longer be updated. Thanks! It's a little sparse at the moment but I'll be adding boards and fun stuff as time goes on.

Not-so-Expedit'd Process

Okay. Here's a little home decor horror story with a happy ending. A couple of years ago, my husband's friend was moving out of Brooklyn and his wife had a post that they were giving away/selling some of their stuff. One of the items was the Ikea Expedit, and I had this lightbulb moment and absolutely NEEDED it for our bedroom. We had been using two mismatched dressers up until that point, which we'd gotten for free right before our wedding. That's a crazy story too. A friend of mine had just graduated from college but was still living in the college dorm in Manhattan when she heard that the college was closing one of their dorms permanently, and therefore getting rid of all the furniture. I know. It sounds fishy but I swear that's what I was told. So she and I rented a uhaul truck and bravely drove it across the Manhattan bridge in a rainstorm to pillage this dorm. And then, somehow, the two of us lugged back two dressers, a coffee table, two floor lamps, and I *think* there was more but now I can't quite remember what it was. And for some reason I remember the uhaul guy's name was Mike and my friend managed to charm him into giving us a discount. ;)

Those two dressers served us well for about 2.5 years but as our home decor evolved, the mismatching of the dressers started to drive me insane (because I'm a crazy person) and another friend of mine got the 8-cubby Expedit for her bachelorette pad and it was awesome because she could see all of her clothes and therefore pick out an outfit before getting out of her nice warm bed in the morning. Brilliant!

I somehow convinced E to go to his friend's apartment, help him unassemble disassemble it, carry it to our building and up to our 4th floor walkup apartment (it might've taken a couple of trips) and then help me reassemble it in our bedroom. And it was awesome. For a couple of months. Until it started to look like this: 

I'd like to acknowledge that while it became a complete and utter disaster zone, things stayed categorized. My clothing was divided into cool colors (actually just green and blue), warm colors (pinks, orange, yellow and also purple), and neutrals (black, white, tan, gray). And further divided by sweaters vs regular shirts. That's 6 cubbies of classification. But it was really hard to keep it folded nicely, especially when I'd have to grab something quickly. Shimmying a single shirt out of the pile was hard, guys.

SO eventually I decided to bring back one of the dressers instead. We'd given the other one to a neighbor when she had her 3rd baby. I found a way to maximize the drawer space on Pinterest (more on that below) and decided to go for it while E was at work a few months ago.

But nothing's ever easy. I thought I was going to be able to super easily scoot the Expedit out our bedroom door and into our guest room, but no. I was wrong. Oh, was I wrong. You see, there's this little nook right outside our door, and the shelves couldn't squeeze through. So I grabbed a screwdriver and got to work taking the door off it's hinges, thinking that those couple of extra inches would help:
But guess what. They didn't. I don't know what I was thinking, or why I didn't measure:


After that, I sat on the floor and cried a little. #noshame The worst part was that I got it jammed in there so it was stuck, and I couldn't even get to the bathroom which is directly outside our bedroom door. Eventually, I  sucked it up and decided to disassemble it, which was nerve-wracking because if you've ever owned Ikea furniture before, you know that as great as it is for a while, it's not really meant to be taken apart and put back together 20x. And it's not usually a one-girl kind of job. It had taken E and me, working together, a REALLY long time to assemble that first time, so I was really shaking in my boots. But I'd already come so far!

This time, I actually gameplanned. I unscrewed the top, and then I kept the 4 cubby dividers and their shelf together each time. I left the two side pieces attached to the bottom. Then I carefully dragged that "frame" in to the guest room. I wasn't sure it'd work because of the same problem (the nook) but without the top attached I was able to maneuver it enough to successfully get it through.

You're going to have to bear with me for the next couple of photos. Just look at the shelves, not the paint, mess, etc.

This was the method to my madness: I propped the "shell" up between a stack of boxes and a chair with stuff piled on it to weigh it down.

Then, for each row, I took a couple of buckets, propped up the vertical pieces, and then laid the big horizontal shelf down and shimmied all of the little wooden pieces into place. The Ikea directions explicitly say you shouldn't do it this way, but it worked for me. 

It took awhile (actually, it took way less time than the first time we assembled it) but eventually I was able to screw the top back on and we had a success story!!

Here it is in it's final (hopefully) resting place on a different guest room wall. This poor shelving unit has been through a lot, guys. Right now it's just holding some miscellaneous books (Oh, right... I got rid of an old bookshelf that day too. It was falling apart. For real!) and a bunch of hoarded back-issues of Real Simple. I want to get canvas cubby boxes for the four top cubbies but I haven't decided on a color yet.

Ah! And if you're wondering about that folding method I was talking about, check out this post from Pinterest/Buzzfeed that I used for inspiration. So far, months later, it's holding up. It's a game-changer.
:)

Also, for reference (because these iPhone pics are a bit wonky in the color department, here's a list of our paint colors, although some of them are color matched using Behr paint):
Bedroom: Solitude AF-545 by Benjamin Moore
Guest Room: Stone 2112-40 by Benjamin Moore
Hallway: Bird's Egg 2051-60 by Benjamin Moore
Living Room: Galveston Gray AC-27 by Benjamin Moore (more on that here)
I actually have an upcoming post on this!

I Don't Always Ovulate...

...but when I do, I don't usually get to see THIS:

This is actually the first time we've taken an at home ovulation predictor test. The RE had us buy some for Saturday so we'd know whether to do the iui on Sunday or not (normally they figure it out using the blood work and ultrasound, but we couldn't go into the office Saturday morning because of Shabbos). It was negative that night, so this sucker (which we took tonight just because we were curious- surprise!) is actually the first time we're seeing a positive result. EVER. It's the little things in life... Haha.

Man Plans, G-d Laughs

I hope G-d is laughing right now. He better be laughing right now. Pretty much everything that could've gone wrong this morning did go wrong. We're finally en route to our iui now, two hours late, in a snow storm (via cab). #awesome

Like Buttah, Baby

Almond butter, that is. As in, Almond Butter Cookies.

I'm obsessed with these cookies. Like, they actually might be my favorite cookies ever. I say that because I haven't had real cookies in a very, very, very long time. But either way, these gluten-free babies (one-track mind, much?) make me not miss real ones even, like, half as much.

Here's the recipe:
- First, preheat your oven to 350.
- Then, thoroughly combine:

• 1 cup almond butter
• 1/3 cup honey (you could use maple syrup if you want to go vegan, here)
• 1 egg (again, if you're pulling the V-card- and by that I mean vegan card, you can use an egg alternative. I tend to use this when I start baking something and realize we're out of eggs: 1 egg = 2 TBS water + 1 TBS oil + 2 tsp baking powder)
• 1 TBS vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp salt (unless your almond butter is already salted)
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp baking powder

- Fold in:
2/3 cup shredded coconut (unsweetened)
1/2 cup chocolate chips 
If you can find sugar free chocolate chips, use them to keep this vaguely Low Amylose (the honey is also questionable). Or you could use raisins. But oatmeal raisin cookies are a big contributor to my ongoing trust issues. Seriously, those little buggers fool me into thinking they're chocolate chip EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

Whatever. I don't "count" chocolate chips, okay? Which might be why I stopped losing weight. Orrrr it could be because of the fact that I'm now on week 3(?) without Metformin because my insurance company FORGOT TO SEND IT. It's cool. I'm not bitter. (UPDATE: It came today!!!)

Anyway....
- Roll the dough into normal cookie-sized balls, throw them on a baking sheet or two 
- Bake 'em for 9-12 minutes or until lightly browned. I find that the bottoms burn a bit if I have them on the lower rack of my oven.

Lemme know how they turn out!

Grow, Follicles, Grow!

Written Thursday, with a Friday and Sunday update at the bottom:
Wednesday's appointment was pretty uneventful. The usual blood work and sonogram showed a follicle in each ovary, measuring 10-11.5. Not bad. The NP said to come back on Friday and that they'd call if anything with the blood work was problematic.

I met E at home and we both took a nap. That night we went to a Chanukah party at some new friends' house with another couple we love. It was really, really nice. We felt like normal, grown up, human beings. I guess our social life has sort of been lacking lately... The only downside to the part-ay was that at some point I caved and split a donut with another girl there. I may have also had a couple of handfuls of kettle corn and a few chips. I don't know what happened. It was just there. That was actually after a couple of glasses of wine, so maybe my junk food inhibitions were down? Idk. I don't have a real excuse. Oh and my Metformin refill STILL hasn't shown up in the mail, so in 2 days I've managed to gain 2lbs. Awesome.

Welp, when we got home we hung out for awhile before bed but then I couldn't sleep. I played an obscene amount of Candy Crush and deleted emails on my phone before finally deciding to try to sleep (again) at about 7:15am. Yeah, I know. But that's when I accidentally clicked on my voicemails and saw that the RE's office had called the previous evening and left a message. Which said that the blood work showed that I might be responding more than they expected, and that I needed to come in Thursday morning, and there'd potentially be an IUI on Friday. Which is awesome!!!

EXCEPT that I only heard this at 7:15am and needed to be at the office by 8am. Holy crap. I almost literally dragged E out of bed, we got dressed super quickly, and ran downstairs to catch a cab. We actually managed to walk into the office at 7:57am. The actual RE did my sonogram and I think the follicles were 11.5, 13, an a bunch smaller than 10. So now we'll go back tomorrow (Friday) and see how it goes from there.... I think something's definitely going on in there bc I'm getting some pain in that general vicinity every so often.

I also got an awesome phone call tonight. I have a handful of people in my life who I'm praying for to get pregnant. The unexpected, random FB announcements always hurt a little bit (in a selfish way) but this handful of people mean the world to me and there's no jealousy or anything towards them when they get pregnant. One is a friend from college. She had a lot of trouble conceiving her first child, and her pregnancy was super difficult as well. He's a little miracle, and beautiful and adorable and so over-the-top loved. When she and her husband started trying for #2, she was told that she had the egg count of a 45 year old woman, wasn't eligible for IVF, and should consider surrogate eggs because the chances of it working with her own were like, not even worth it. Well, folks, they went for it, and she is PREGNANT. Take that, statistics. She called me to tell me personally because, although she's not telling people publicly yet, she wanted me to hear it from her in a gentle way. Love her. :)

K, I'm off to shower and get a little sleep before I have to head back to the doctor (and potentially get coffee with a friend). Keep you updated.

UPDATE #1 (Friday):
So I don't think anyone's reading this, but that kind of gives me the freedom to be a little more blunt, no? :) Just got back from my RE appointment. I was really nervous all night and couldn't fall asleep at all. I was reading blogs all night. I talked to another friend, who's also going through IF issues, in the morning before my appointment and that chilled me out a little. Then, in the waiting room, this guy walked in wearing a Red Sox cap. And I took that as a good sign and started smiling like a lunatic and he saw me and it was mad awkward. Oopsies. Once I got into the ultrasound room, I shot out an email to the Ohel (the grave of the Lubavitcher Rebbe and the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe). It's a custom that some Jewish people (or anyone who wants to) write letters to be placed on the grave of very righteous people, asking for blessings. I'm one of those crazy people who do that, and, like with most things, there's actually an app for that. So I used it to beg for a blessing that the iui would be ASAP and successful and that there'd be one or two healthy, normal babies who live long, full lives. Okay. Two minutes later, the nurse waltzed in, and as she's measuring my uterine lining, her jaw drops. I held my breath. After measuring it like 10x she moved on to my ovaries and her jaw re-dropped. It had gone from 11 to 15 overnight. BOOM.

UPDATE #2 (Sunday):
Hubbs and I fell asleep Friday afternoon before Shabbos and missed the phone call from the RE. We miraculously woke up literally 8 minutes before candle lighting, having slept through our alarms. Thankfully, the RE had left a message, and said to take a urine OPK on Saturday, and that if it was positive the iui would be Sunday morning at 7am. WHAT! By the time we heard the message, the office was closed AND it was time for us to turn off our phones for Shabbos...

It wasn't until a few moments after I lit Shabbos candles that I realized I had no idea when to take my ovodril shot! CRAP. We didn't really have a choice but to wait until Saturday night, after Shabbos, to call the "emergency" hotline ("Emergency" can be used loosely... right??) and they said not to take it.

Almost literally two seconds after Shabbos ended, E ran out to the store to buy some OPKs. I think we'd only used them once or twice before, and that was during our first year of marriage before we realized that I don't ovulate on my own. Cool. Anyway, the OPK was negative, and, a little heartbroken, I tried a second one in case the first was a fluke but the second one obviously one didn't work, because, c'mon... this is me we're talking about. ;)

K so flash forward to Sunday morning. I haven't slept all night because I'm a nervous wreck, again, about the appointment. I don't know what horrific news I'm expecting them to tell me, but apparently it has me feeling all kinds of crazy. The NP did my ultrasound today and she said my lining is great and I have a follicle on each side still, and they're both measuring at 19. Hellz yeah. I have to take the Ovodril shot tonight at 9pm, and the iui will, G-d willing, be Tuesday morning unless they call me this afternoon to tell me it's pushed up to tomorrow morning, based on the blood work. I'm really hoping for a Monday iui because Idk how much more my nerves can handle, but at least the end (of at least this cycle) is in sight! Pray for us, people.

Thanksgivvukah

Low Amylose Thanksgiving can be done. Ours was a little bit of a hot mess, but there was a lot of potential there. It could've all be avoided by a little thought and planning, but that's not how I was rolling this year. Oh well. :)

Side note: Happy 20th blog post! It only took 9 months to get here, but here we are. I've been getting a little bit better at blogging more regularly, and just emailed Stirrup-queens.com to get myself added to their blogroll, so if we get any attention from that, it might light a fire under my tush even more. I've also started reading some other PCOS/infertility blogs and hope to get to know some of those ladies. If anyone has any suggestions to good ones, lemme know. 

Back to the real point of this post: Thanksgivukah. Here's our Chanukah House. Manischewitz makes a kit (we actually paid 1/2 that at Duane Reade)- we're not this talented. And it's just for show (in our house) due to it's extremely HIGH amylose content. I do suggest doing this with someone who will monitor you while building... E had to go to work in the middle of the creative process, and while it was nice to have an activity to keep me busy while all by my lonesome on Thanksgiving night, it resulted in me eating a crap-ton of icing. Whoops.

We got our kit like a month ago and thought we were going be be super original and hilarious, and couldn't wait to build it over Chanukah and surprise everyone with our big reveal. Then they started selling them in Crown Heights and everyone and their mother got one, built it, and posted it on Facebook before we'd even opened our box. Womp womp womp.

After about the 5th fb Chanukah house reveal, this is kind of what it felt like, haha:

The rest of our meal was way more diet-friendly. First, we had zucchini latkes since potatoes are a no-go for me. They were awesome. But not without a hitch. Y'see, E offered, ever-so-kindly, to make the latkes. I found the recipe and gave it to him, but he neglected to finish reading it... and as a result he tried to deep-fry them instead of using 2-3 TBS as was spelled out in the recipe (here). Cute. Luckily I caught him struggling before he tossed the entire batch into the garbage out of frustration. 

I tried to make gingersnap cookies, which you can find the recipe to here, but mine came out kind of dry. GREAT flavor, just too dry for my taste. Oh and even with freezing the dough for a bit, it thawed too quickly post-rolling to make the cookie cutter shapes work.

Here's the final spread. We never made it to mashing (or, um, buying) squash. And those deviled eggs were all E's, because they're just not my thing. Those brussels sprouts were amazing (recipe here). I seriously loved them and plan on making them again.

Other things we made:

Paleo Pumpkin Cranberry Muffins- Also a bit dry. Maybe it's just us.

Crustless Pumpkin Pie with Cinnamon Roasted Nuts- We tried a bit of this right out of the oven, and again a day later and it was infinitely better the next day. My mother-in-law was visiting and asked for the recipe. Twice. I should get around to sending it to her... haha. Either way, the nuts were great. 

The point is, we're not shining examples of a success story, but Low Amylose Thankgiving CAN be done!

It's Getting Hot in Hurrr....

Oh, friends. These Clomid hot flashes are insane. They're not constant, but they're a few times an hour, sometimes a few times every half an hour. They come out of nowhere, and they're intense enough that they actually wake me up. So. I haven't been sleeping, which I'm sure is really adding to my already awesome mood swings. Honestly, those aren't as bad as I remember from past cycles, but I'll have to check in with E and see if that's an accurate assessment.

I'm also super over-the-top nauseous. The thought of eating is nauseating. It's not healthy, I know, but that, combined with only eating Low Amylose foods, combined with being on track with the Metformin has resulted in some weight loss. I'm down at least a couple of pounds just from last week, and in the past month I've lost 6.5 lbs. I'll take it- now I'm only 4.5 lbs away from my pre-Rosh Hashana weight. HOLLER.

How I felt on the scale today.

That's pretty much all for now.... I need to upload and edit the Thanksgiving photos still, but I'm going to save that for tomorrow. I mostly wanted to get this update recorded here before I forgot about these wicked awesome side effects. Wish us luck.

UPDATE:
I decided to add on to this post because I never intended for this blog to be a bunch of quick progress updates and I want to save my 20th post for something worthwhile. :)

Today is Tuesday and I'm still crazy nauseous. I tried making two or three different quick things for dinner tonight and I couldn't stomach more than a couple of bites of each. I'm not really sure what's going on, or why that would be. Additionally, I have a crazy bad headache- right by my forehead and temples.

Tomorrow is my first ultrasound since I took the Clomid, so seriously wish us luck. I'm also going to go there without having eaten because last week the NP had said she wanted to do a fasting glucose at some point. I should remember to bring a snack, but I also hope to get coffee with a friend who just moved somewhere right near my RE's office tomorrow after the appointment. Hurray! Socializing!

E won't be attending the appointment with me, I don't think, because he's working his third overnight in a row tonight AND he's in the middle of grad school finals so he a) hasn't slept in like 2 straight days, and b) has to finish a paper that's due tomorrow evening. And then we're going to a Chanukah party with another couple we know and love, at a new couple-friends' house. So it'll be a pretty exciting and fun but long day...

I'm getting nervous about tomorrow's appointment. I know I shouldn't expect much (I only finished the Clomid on Sunday) but I've been really good about the diet and pretty good about the Metformin (except! that I ran out of my old stash today and the new prescription STILL hasn't arrived yet... our insurance or pharmacy won't let us get it through our normal pharmacy because it's usually something people are on fo' lyfe so they do it through mail-order. I have to look into that tomorrow. I was really banking on it getting here just in time today...). So that's that. I'm going to drink some tea and try to chillax, and maybe try to eat something, before I head to bed for a bit before my appointment. Ahhhh.