Mother's Day, Smother's Day

Boom.

Have I mentioned that our engagement party was on Mother's Day? Oh, right, and our wedding was shortly thereafter, on Father's Day. #FML.

Those first ones were fun and busy and exciting... but every Mother's Day and Father's Day after that have been brutal. I've felt "smothered". I've cried every year. Including this year, actually, but I'm not 100% sure why. Maybe because I'm still hurting from the past 5 years... but definitely because my heart was breaking for everyone still going through what we went through. And for the moms I know out there who have lost a child, which brings every struggle of mine to it's knees. I can't even begin to imagine.

One thought in particular ran through my head all day. Last week someone on Facebook (I knowwww) had posted a photo of a page in a book. She'd bought her daughter a kids' encyclopedia and there was a 2-page spread in it about reproduction and how babies are made. She wanted to know if others thought this was inappropriate for her 3 year old to be learning about. Like, should she wait a couple of years to tackle that subject. Fair question (in my opinon)... except...

There's ALWAYS an "except" when it come to FB, right??

So people are commenting on this picture, all giving their 2 cents, and someone pipes in with this:
"The first sentence in this book is wrong, "You need a mother and a father to make a baby." No, you need a male and a female ... any male and female.... they're not a mother and a father until a baby is born. LOL."

And then people chimed in and laughed about how "true" that is.
 
Now, listen. I didn't look up the actual definition of "mother" or "father" in a Webster's dictionary or anything.... but that sentence rubbed me the wrong way in SO. MANY. WAYS. I wrote about 50 responses to it, but never had the guts to send any of them. I just knew I wasn't going to have the energy to deal with the backlash. I'm still debating whether to send one.

But... COME THE FRICK ON. That's gotta be one of the most insensitive FB responses I've seen in a long time. It takes away the title of "mother" from such a huge group of women. Women who have had MCs. Women who have had stillbirths. Women who struggled with the decision to have an abortion. And so on and so forth. All of these women LOVED their BABIES on some level. Whether they got to spend 5 weeks with the child inside of them or 40 weeks, whether their child was ripped away from them unwillingly or even if they chose to abort it because they couldn't give it the life it deserved, there was and still is love there... and the loss of that child will stick with them for the rest of their lives. The memory of that child will haunt them forever. And, at least on some level, they will miss that baby until they die.

If none of those women are a "mother" then I don't even know what else to say.