16 Week Update

Whew! Passover is over, our apartment is semi-back to normal (still have mountains of *folded* laundry to put away and more to do), and my plan is to try and answer comments and read the 200+ blog posts that I'm behind on over the course of tonight and tomorrow. Eeep. 

Today was great though. One of my best friends was in town for a couple of hours today so E and I got to hang out with her, her husband, and their 3.5 year old son. We got lunch at a local pizza place (E and I split a big salad and a slice of pizza, and E had a second slice to himself). Then I went to another friend's daughter's Bat Mitzvah. I was planning on only staying for a little while (E could only stay for about 30 mins because he had to go to work) because I was also supposed to go out for my monthly dinner with other friends (I swear I'm not usually this social) but then it turned out that one of those girls was also going to the bas mitzvah and asked if we could do dinner tomorrow instead. So that's awesome. I think this might've actually been my first bas mitzvah, and it was awesome. It was in my friend's house, but there was catered food, a smoothie station which turned into an ice cream sundae station, a candy bar, and so many great desserts. And if that wasn't enough, then they passed out mugs and paint palettes and we all got to paint pottery. Which was secretly hilarious for me because E and I had gotten the birthday girl a gift certificate to a pottery painting place as a gift, haha. Oh well. Here's my (obviously still unfired) creation: 

K now let's get down to business!

 How far along: 16 weeks

Size of baby:  Avocado

Physical symptoms: Sensitive to smells, super bloated after eating, gaggy (more than the past couple of weeks), occasionally nauseous. Headaches (due to alleriges?). Stuffy nose. Really bad restless legs when I lay down. Really having trouble getting comfortable and falling asleep (pillow between my legs is most successful but still not great). Also, what I guess is round ligament pains whenever I move/stand up/turn/etc too quickly or whatever. Exhausted again. And I'm constantly dying of thirst (and then urgently have to pee 2 seconds later). Constipated (sorry!). So so so moody and emotional.

Weight gain/loss: 2-5 lbs

Maternity clothes: I just ordered a couple of things from Target, but I won't need them for a little while. I can easily still fit into my normal tights and control-top stockings.

Stretch marks: Nope

Sleep: I'm e x h a u s t e d-have a lot of trouble falling asleep and there's the restless legs issue.

Best moment since last week: We had our 16 week doctor appointment! It was our first ultrasound with the real ultrasound tech and she immediately asked if we wanted to know the sex, because she could tell. What!!! I'm going to wait until at least after the 20 week ultrasound to share it (might not then, gotta discuss with E) because it's pretty early and the 20 week ultrasound will be way more conclusive, but she knew right away. Ok this is all pretty obvious but I'm still just not going to officially say it yet! Also, we saw the heartbeat and that was uber reassuring, and apparently this kid already weighs almost 1/2 a pound, which seems enormous to me, but E is a reallly tall guy so the Doctor was not at all worried and said "Hellooo, look at this kid's father! It's to be expected!". So, there's that. There's just a monster child in my uterus. 

Movement: I don't think so, but who knows. Could be gas, could be the baby. haha.

Cravings/Aversions: I still reallllly want steak and eggs. I haven't had that since the middle of Passover, so I might make it for dinner tomorrow night. Because I haven't stopped wanting it since then! I also still can't look at/eat/smell cooked tomatoes except for marinara sauce on mozzarella sticks, but even then I was a little grossed out. I'm starrrrving most of the time. And what's also been happening is that I've been getting a spark of a craving, like a REALLY good idea like waffles with ice cream on top or whatever, but then we get/make that and it turns out that I don't really want that. I've been leaning away from the sweet again and craving more protein and vegetables, I guess. Which I should straight-up go for allllll the time.

Gender: Wellllll we pretty much know now!

Labor signs: Hopefully not anyyytime soon!

Belly button:  Innie

What I miss:  Sleeping! I was never a person who could just lay down and fall asleep easily, but this restless leg thing is killing me. I literally have to get out of bed and stretch for like 20 minutes, which is super uncomfortable (because I can feel my uterus when I bend to touch my toes!!!) but even that only works like 1/5 of the time, if that. Idk what to do. Any suggestions???

What I am looking forward to: Right now only parents, grandparents, one aunt and one uncle, and a few very close friends know, but we told our parents they can tell other relatives and friends in May... which is in a few days. We don't plan on officially "announcing" it but there are a few more friends I'd like to tell, it'll be so so nice not to sort of "hide" it anymore.

Phew! That's about it... I think I might need to go to bed now, it's been a busyyyy week.

(Belated) 15 Week Update

Toooootally missed the 15 week update so I'm going to try and bang one out now (we're 16 weeks + 1 days today!) but I literally just got home from spending the past few days out of town and the apartment is a disaster so this'll be short and sweet. :)

How far along: Belatedly 15 weeks

Size of baby:  Lemon!

Physical symptoms: Bloated (but I was eating matzah all week for Passover, which also has that effect). Slightly less sensitive to smells, slightly less "gaggy", MUCH less nauseous. Headaches (I think that might be due to alleriges). Stuffy nose. Restless legs at night, really having trouble getting comfortable and falling asleep (pillow between my legs is most successful but still not great). Also, what I guess is round ligament pains whenever I move/stand up/turn/etc too quickly or whatever.

Weight gain/loss: The scale is still out of batteries! Oops!

Maternity clothes: Not yet! Holding out!

Stretch marks: I don't think so...

Sleep: I'm exhausted- I have a lot of trouble falling asleep, and I can't really stay asleep for more than 6-7 hours and like I just said there's the restless legs issue.

Best moment since last week: We got to our friends' house on Sunday (15w 5d) and they excitedly told me to turn to the side so they could see my bump and were disappointed that there wasn't really one. Haha. Not showing juuust yet!!
 
Movement: I don't think so.

Cravings/Aversions: The week of Passover was really hard. We generally don't eat anything that we don't make ourselves (with the exception of grape juice, matzah and olive oil for cooking). For all of the actual holiday days (ones similar to Shabbos) we ate 2 meals per day at friends' houses, and there was tonsss of food. But on the intermediate days (called "chol hamoed"), E and I were left on our own and... whatever. We should've just been better prepared. But there were a couple of food-related meltdowns. Not really about craving anything that I couldn't have but not wanting to eat anything that we did have. We did have steak and eggs 2 or 3 times, which is a little excessive I guess, but that's our usual Passover staple so it was kind of expected. And E really wanted it too!

Gender: Leaning towards girl still...

Labor signs: Hopefully not anyyytime soon!

Belly button:  Innie

What I miss:  I was really bloated so I couldn't feel my uterus as much, and that's got me freaked out a little...

What I am looking forward to: Same as last week... The next appointment- April 25th. And getting to the date we decided to start telling more people (probably around May 1st). Right now only parents, grandparents, one aunt and uncle, and a few very close friends know. We don't plan on "announcing" it but there are a few more friends I'd like to tell, and obviously more family as well.

14 Week Update

Hey! Passover starts tonight so I going to be MIA most of the week (not that that's anything new). Should be fun. It's been a crazy busy week (especially te past couple of days) so I'm going to keep this short and sweet!

How far along: 14 weeks 6 days

Size of baby:  3.5" or a lemon?

Physical symptoms: Sometimes sore/itchy boobs.. Bloated (E was taking a picture of me the other day and told me to "stop sticking out my fake belly"... I was actually sucking in!). Slightly less sensitive to smells, slightly less "gaggy", MUCH less nauseous. Some weird cravings/food aversions. Lots of tears, some anxiety. Headaches. Stuffy nose. Restless legs at night if I'm overtired or can't fall asleep right away.

Weight gain/loss: I haven't checked in like a while bc our scale needs new batteries! I've definitely gained....

Maternity clothes: Not yet! But my wardrobe options are quicklyyyy dwindling.

Stretch marks: Possibly on my chest. 

Sleep: I'm exhausted- if I miss my  IgottaGotoBedNOW window then I have a lot of trouble falling asleep, and I can't really stay asleep for more than 6-7 hours.

Best moment since last week: "Popping" a little? 
  
Movement: I felt something that felt like goldfish bubbles when I got into bed a couple of nights in a row but I'm thinking it was proooobably gas lol.

Cravings/Aversions: Craving Mexican. Still can't look at or smell cooked tomatoes, any and all meat still grosses me out. I'm getting nervous about Passover (starts tonight) because we eat veryyyy few things for those 8 days and none of them are things I'm super exited to eat. :-/

Gender: Still feeling like it's a girl. 

Labor signs: Hopefully not anyyytime soon!

Belly button:  Innie

What I miss:  Not too much this week...

What I am looking forward to: The next appointment- April 25th. And getting to the date we decided to start telling more people (probably around May 1st). Right now only parents, grandparents, one aunt and uncle, and a few very close friends know. We don't plan on "announcing" it but there are a few more friends I'd like to tell, and obviously more family as well. Also, E has been off from work since Wednesday and doesn't have to go back until NEXT Thursday (not this one!) so that's awesome. He's super relaxed and happy and it's so nice. :)

Happy Passover everyone!!

13 Week Update (!!!)

Ahhh. Just survived the final activity of my cray-zay week. I think I outlined everything I had scheduled in my last post, but then I added dinner with friends tonight. There were a few "best" parts. On Monday we went out to dinner at my favorite Indian restaurant with E's dad and uncle. E and I ordered our food "medium-spicy" like we always do, but it was literally so spicy that even E had sweat dripping down his forehead. It was so so good! Also, on Thursday night there was a friend's engagement party, and one of my besties flew in for it and it was so nice to see her. She's due a week before me and also isn't "publicly pregnant" so we escaped to a back room for a bit to compare bumps (yes, there's a little one) and gush about the whole thing. Very exciting.

This coming week will be less fun. E is working Sunday, Monday and Tuesday overnights, so he'll be MIA till about Wednesday night because he'll be squeezing in sleep whenever he's not actually at work, and Wednesday evening he has grad school. I'll need to spend some of that time organizing and cleaning the apartment for Passover. On Thursday, Friday, and Sunday, E will help me do the heavy-duty cleaning. Our bedroom is pretty cramped so I really need him around for heavy lifting.

But! There's a ray of light- last week we bought tickets to the Red Sox/Yankees game for this Thursday night. Wahoo! E is petrified that I'm going to get myself shot or something while acting like and insane Sox fan in Yankees Stadium, and he might be right. I've converted him into Red Sox Nation (he never really had a baseball opinion before) but he has a lot of family and family friends who are big-time Yankees fans and he's nervous about getting disowned when the photos of him in a Red Sox shirt at a Yankees game surface on FB. ;) I'll be sure to post a pic if I can get one.

K, here's the questionnairre, a day earlier than usual!

How far along: 13 weeks 5 days

Size of baby:  A peach or a pea pod. 3"!

Physical symptoms: Sore and/or itchy boobs (worse than the past couple of weeks). Bloated (esp below my belly button). Constipated (sorry!). Sensitive to smells (but less), (less) "gaggy", MUCH less nauseous (except if I'm up between 1 and 3am, and today I *almost* vomited walking down the street, randomly). Some weird cravings/food aversions, but less intense. Weird dreams. Irrationally moody... there have been a lot of tears. Daily headaches. Restless legs at night if I'm overtired or can't fall asleep right away.

Weight gain/loss: I haven't checked in like a week... but I would guess I've definitely gained. Although... on two separate occasions this week, two different people randomly told me that I look really skinny and have lost a lot of weight. Ha ha ha....

Maternity clothes: Not yet! But my wardrobe options are quicklyyyy dwindling.

Stretch marks: I think I have on my chest but I've only seen them in the shower, I keep forgetting to check in a mirror, haha.

Sleep: I've still been waking up after 7-8 hours most days (normally I can go for like 10+ lol), and when I wake up, I'm UP. Not feeling rested, but I absolutely cannot go back to sleep. And at night, when I get tired it comes out of nowhere and it's like BOOM! IgottaGotoBedNOW. There's like a short window where I'll be able to fall asleep in under 5-10 minutes (I never used to fall asleep right away) but if I miss it, my legs get crampy and it takes forever to fall asleep. Especially if E is snoring. ;)

Best moment since last week: Seeing my friend who's due a week before me. :) And randomly being told I look like I've lost weight 2x. ;) Oh and saying "peace out" to the first trimester!!!!
 
Movement: Not that I can feel...

Cravings/Aversions: Sweet things are slowly starting to taste good again- I still need to water down juices and things like that. Still want spicy and sour things but not as much as before. Cooked tomatoes still suuuuper make me gag (pasta sauces, etc)- I made E a wrap to take to work with him tonight and put Turkish salad (is that what it's called?) in it and it's tomato-based and I almost couldn't finish making it. Chicken (raw or cooked) is still grossing me out- most meat is. Still occasionally crave gefilte fish (baked "my" way). "Butter sandwiches" are still my go-to but I've been trying to cut back, haha. I was really into eggs and cheese on toast this week! I've really wanted a specific friend's chicken soup for a few days now... might need to make it this week since I never did last week (I've wanted it for over a week). On Saturday nights we usually get pizza or some kind of take out (or go out to eat with friends), but last night all I wanted was to split one slice of pizza with E and I really wanted a SALAD. WHAT!? Yeah, you heard me: a SALAD. With hard boiled eggs and cheddar cheese and chick peas and pickles and jalapenos. And a bunch of other stuff. It was the bomb diggity. Soooo not my usual style.

Gender: Still feeling like it's a girl. E also thinks it's a girl. And my pregnant friend and her husband also think she's having a girl (and therefore hope ours is the same gender, haha). But obviously no evidence to support that.

Labor signs: Hopefully not for 6 months!

Belly button:  Innie

What I miss:  Caffeine!!! Alcohol when I'm at an event where people are drinking (I don't want to get drunk, I'd just like *a* drink maybe once a week). I would love a margarita.

What I am looking forward to: The next appointment- April 25th. Getting to our "going public" date (probably around May 1). I don't think we'll make an announcement or anything, but it'll be nice to not feel like we "need" to hide it. I'm also partially dreading starting to show more than I am, though, because I'm nervous about the attention it'll cause. Soooo many people have been rooting for us for the past almost-5 years, soooo many people want this for us. And thank G-d, sooo many people are going to be over-the-moon excited and happy about this pregnancy. This. Kid. Will. Be. Loved. But I'm not exactly an attention-seeker. I can be pretty shy. So. Y'know. That's looming, lol. Oooh but I'm working on getting E to agree to a Babymoon, just trying to figure out where and when. :)

12 Week Update

Whew. Crazy week, guys. Actually, that's not entirely true... last week was pretty uneventful, I think, but from Friday-this coming Thursday I'm busy almost every day. Friday night was obviously Shabbos, and we were at friends' apartment for a meal until after 1am. I was dead tired but finally got a second wind and it was really nice. This couple always has super interesting Shabbos guests, and this week was no different. Saturday we went to another friend's house for lunch and two of my besties were also there. That was a good time. After lunch, E and I stopped by another friend's house (we're really not usually this social! haha) because it was her husband's birthday. Another couple we're friends with were also there, and it was really nice too. We hung out there until after Shabbos, then headed home to freshen up before going out with our friends that moved to Long Island last year. We got pizza and then got ice cream. :)

On Sunday, E and I were supposed to go to brunch on the Upper West Side (we even had a reservation!) but we both overslept, whoops! So it was a lazy day until E went to work and I went to an engagement party. In our community, they're called a "l'chaim". It's definitely not invite-only. Anyone can show up to wish the bride and groom "mazel tov"/congratulations. The bride was a close friend of one of my friends, who didn't want to attend the party alone so I agreed to go with her. I don't know the bride well, but she's an acquaintance and she looked gorgeous. And I actually ate a bunch of salad and fruit (uh, and cookies), so that's a plus. ;)

Tomorrow, E's dad and uncle are going to be in Manhattan for business, so E and I are going to meet up with them for dinner after E gets out of school. E suggested we go to my fave Indian restaurant, and I'm definitely not arguing. Depending on how long dinner goes, I might go to a little class type thing at a friend's house afterwards... but I'm not counting on it.

Tuesday I have a wedding to go to. Another acquaintance from a bunch of years ago, but she recently got back in touch, so I'm going to "go for the dancing". 'Round here, wedding are invite-only for the dinner portion, but basically anyone can show up for the dancing that takes place after the meal. A few other friends are also doing that, so it should be fun. Also... we'll be 13 WEEKS that day. Holy moly.

Wednesday is actually a night off! E has school till 8 or 9 that night, but doesn't have to work so we'll have a quiet night in. We should probably start cleaning the apartment for Passover on Thursday.

And Thursday night is another friend's engagement party. The period of time from Passover until a holiday called Shavuot (in early June this year) is sort of a time of mourning on the Jewish calendar, and people don't hold weddings during that time... so the weeks before Passover are usually full of "simchas" or happy events that people are trying to cram in before Passover. :) This l'chaim is for an actual friend, and actually, one of my BEST friends is coming to town from Toronto for the party. So it'll be reallllly nice to see her!

Annnnd then it'll be Shabbos again. Let's get to the weekly update, shall we?

How far along: 12 weeks 6 days

Size of baby:  A plum?!

Physical symptoms: Sore boobs (but not as bad as before). Bloated. Constipated (sorry). Sensitive to smells (but less), less "gaggy", NOT *AS* NAUSEOUS and NO vomiting!!! Woo hoo! Some weird cravings/food aversions. Weird dreams. Irrationally moody... there have been a lot of tears. And headaches.

Weight gain/loss: Still up and down 2-3 lbs every few days. Overall, no gain.

Maternity clothes: Not yet! But my wardrobe options are dwindling.

Stretch marks: I don't think so...

Sleep: I've been waking up after 7-8 hours most days (normally I can go for like 10+ lol), and when I wake up, I'm UP. Not necessarily feeling rested, or even vaguely not-tired, but I absolutely cannot go back to sleep. And at night, when I get tired it comes out of nowhere and it's like BOOM! IgottaGotoBedNOW. There's like a short window where I'll be able to fall asleep in under 5-10 minutes (I never used to fall asleep right away) but if I miss it, my legs get crampy and it takes forever to fall asleep. Especially if E is snoring. ;)

Best moment since last week: Our 12 week doctor appointment! It was kind of a high-stress day because for whatever reason I was *convinced* there wasn't going to be a living baby. Idk why. But I was dreading it. Like a crazy person. And E was in a weird mood too. And then the Dr was kind of peeved because there had been a misunderstanding, and we hadn't done the nuchal translucency screening, we were supposed to have gone to an earlier appointment so their ultrasound tech could do the ultrasound... but no one told us that, and he'd left if up to us whether to do the NT. E and I talked about it and E really didn't want to do it (for a variety of valid reasons) and I chose to not fight that (one, single) battle. I'm not saying that's the right decision for anyone but us. That was just our decision. ANYWAY... the Dr wasn't impressed by us a) not doing it and b) not magically knowing we should've had an earlier appointment, and therefore he had to do the ultrasound (sonogram? what's the difference??) himself... so the whole appointment was kind of short and awkward. BUT! Here's the "best moment" part. We saw the heart beating (phewwww) and the kid measured appropriately, AND we could see it squirming around and kicking! I could actually barely see, but E saw the whole thing "loud" and clear and said it was amazingggg. What I saw was a big relief. And the Dr said the chances of, G-d forbid, an MC happening at this point are really low. So whether that's actually true or not, it's putting my nerves at ease.

Movement: Not that I can feel, but we saw it!

Cravings/Aversions: Sweet things still mostly taste "off" but are slowly starting to taste good again- I still need to water down juices and things like that though. I still want spicy things but not as much as before. Cooked tomatoes still make me gag (pasta sauces, etc) but not as badly. Chicken, meat and fish (raw or cooked) are still grossing me out. Still occasionally crave gefilte fish (baked "my" way). "Butter sandwiches" are still my go-to. E's made me eggs in a hole for breakfast twice recently and I've actually been able to eat the eggs. A+! And I've really wanted a specific friend's chicken soup for a few days now... there's chicken but not actual chunks of chicken in it, just the flavor from it. So good. I might make it tomorrow or something.

Gender: Leaning towards a girl this week. No particular reason. Just a feeling.

Labor signs: Hopefully not for 6 months!

Belly button:  Innie

What I miss:  Soft cheeses, caffeine!!!, alcohol when I'm at an event where people are drinking. I would love a margarita.

What I am looking forward to: The NEXT appointment- April 25th. We'll also probably "go public" around then. Only our closest family and friends know still. Also, Passover... and E having to help me clean the house for Passover this year bc I can't move the beds and couches by myself. Bwahaha. And more short-term, Tuesday, because we'll be 13 weeks and, if I'm not mistaken, OUT OF THE FIRST TRIMESTER. Whattup.

Ranting!

We're 12 weeks as of today. Holy cow. Our 12 week appointment is tomorrow and I am FREAKING out that there, G-D FORBID, won't be a heartbeat. NOTHING points to that being the case. Nothing rational should make me feel like this. I'm just like 90% convinced that it's going to happen and I'm worried, scared, and actually preemptively sad. I legit have no reason to think any of that.

Oysh. So I guess that's also a rant, but my main one is this: One of my BFF's from high school has been planning on giving herself a 2-3 month window to get pregnant for like 2 years now. Summer of 2015. Twenty FIFTEEN. Meaning, she wants to start trying in like July of 2015, and if it doesn't happen within 2-3 months, she's "gonna be pissed". I've told her about our struggles (separately! not in response!), so you'd think she would be careful about what she says... no? But she actually posts about it on Facebook. Like references it once a week.

Seriously?? Today she had a post about how she's thinking about doing a roadtrip with her husband next summer, "if" she's not pregnant by then. I just... can't. I can't even fathom being so sure of it. That it'll happen that quickly. That having (a) kid(s) is a GIVEN. That it's not a total miracle when/if it happens. And telling EVERYONE on your FB newsfeed about when you'll start trying. And being super cocky about it in the rest of your comments about it- she actually said once that she'll be upset if they don't end up with at least one of each gender after 3 kids (I think she even said they'd only have a 3rd if the first two are the same gender). UPSET?? Seriously?! Someone else commented something like "C'mon, as long as they're healthy, gender doesn't really matter..." and she responded with something like "Well yeah, but still if there's not one of each, one of us (her or her husband) is going to be really upset". It's legit mind blowing to me.

Maybe it's far enough off in the future that it's just not "real" to her? Not only that these are actual little humans that she's talking about bringing into this world, but also that she's putting all kinds of pressure on herself. That it's going to raise a million and one questions from people when it gets to be July 2015? Can't you just picture people being like, "So... did you start yet?"/"Are you pregnant yet?"/"How about now?"/"...Now?". Maybe she just doesn't realize that people can actually be that nosy? And that questions will get REALLY old REALLY fast? And that just because you get pregnant, it doesn't mean you're "safe"? I just don't know.

I wish her well. I really, really do. She's someone I legitimately care about, and I really hope it's as easy for her as she's hoping it will be, because that'll be a HUGH disappointment for her if it isn't. She'll be 30 at that point, and her husband is nearly 40, so I know she's trying to time it well in terms of their ages, especially with timing another one or two down the line.

I just was NEVER in my entire life that optimistic. I was always really cautious about the chances. Granted, I have PCOS and a family history of infertility, haha. But still. I just... don't... get it.

11 Week Update/A Whole Lotta Vomit

Whew. Rough week, guys! On Wednesday I decided to try and stop taking my nausea pills. Heads up: This post is going to be pretty heavy on the "vomit talk" so you may want to just skip ahead to the questionnaire!

I only had 3 pills left, and they'd been prescribed by my RE, and my OB hadn't heard of them when we told him I was taking them back at the 8 week appointment (yeah, Idk what that's about). So day 1 without them was fine! I don't think I took one Tuesday night (I always took them before bed) and I felt pretty good on Wednesday and got a little ahead of myself. I thought, hey, we're close to the end of the first trimester, maybe the nausea is over! Yeah.. wrong-o! It was back in full force the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Etc. It was mostly just extreme nausea without actual vomit, but that's probably because I HATE throwing up. I know, who doesn't? But I REALLY hate it. Like I do everything in my power not to throw up. EVERYTHING. I can't even explain how much I hate it. Did anyone read that Hellogiggles.com article on Emetophobia- or the fear of throwing up- a few weeks ago? Because I did. And I think I have that. No, but really. I really don't think it's just hypochondria!

Speaking of hypochondria, E and I quote this kid approximately once per week. Watch the first 45 seconds of this clip from The Switch. So funny.

"Oh my G-d... I have that!"

Anyway. I definitely threw up a couple of times last week... including one time when all I had in my stomach was one of my enormous, gross-tasting prenatal vitamins- I was on my way to the kitchen to eat! I can't even explain how gross that was. But on Sunday, it was epic. We went to E's ollllld family friend's wedding in Manhattan (their moms met through the "homeschooling network" and became friends- yep, E was home-schooled until 3rd grade!). It was a really nice wedding, and I was feeling pretty okay Sunday morning but E convinced me to take a preemptive nausea pill "just in case". So I did, and then we grabbed a bagel on the way to the subway (we sat and ate it in the bagel shop- I hate eating on the subway). And then the subway ride was horrible. I got superrrrr nauseous. I had a mini can of ginger ale in my coat pocket (ha ha, true story!) but it only made things worse. E told me, "worst case scenario, you'll run to the door between the trains, throw up out the door, and it'll be done." RIGHT. Clearly, he's never seen me vomit. Idk what he was thinking. I'm no freaking MacGyver!

 Okay. Long story short, we go to the wedding, it's kosher and dairy because the family is vegetarian, and that's awesome. I was still feeling nauseous, but I ate what I could (some amazing french onion soup, a bite of eggplant parmesan, some mac & cheese... all REALLY good!). My in-laws were at the wedding too and they were so excited to see us- it was the first time they were seeing us since we told them! Apparently, my MIL even surreptitiously took a photo of my "belly" and sent it to my SIL. Which would be cute except that I DON'T HAVE A BELLY! I'm still exactly the same weight AND I was wearing Spanx! What the heck! Oh wellll, haha. Let them be excited. ;)

K so I was tired when we got there and faded more and more as time went on. By the time it was over I was about to fall over. E graciously agreed to get a cab home instead of making me take another hellish and nauseous subway ride, and I thought that'd be a great solution.... WRONG. Riding in a cab in Manhattan is kind of like riding a bucking bronco. The drivers speed up to catch the lights and then juuuust miss it and brake hard, there's swerving, there's potholes... it's not pretty. By the time we'd gotten to the Manhattan bridge I was beyond ready to jump out and vomit, but I held it in for the additional 15+ minutes it takes to get to our apartment in Brooklyn. I even paused to collect myself in our lobby before calmly walking up the 4 flights of stairs and waited for E, who had the key. And then as soon as the door was open, I ran for the bathroom... and it was terrible. THE. FREAKING. WORST. But afterwards, I got right into bed, and E sat with me and started writing a grad school paper, and in the morning he said I was dead asleep in 5-10 minutes, which is shocking. I neverrrr fall asleep quickly.

This morning I woke up STARVING and thought about all of the foods I wanted to eat. I decided on 1 piece of pizza and that I'd make a spicy kani/coleslaw salad that our friend makes on Shabbos that I LOVE. Spicy food hasn't been affecting my stomach, so I figured that'd be fine. E went to pick up a couple of slices of pizza for us for lunch, and I got halfway through mine before I had to vomit AGAIN. What. the. HECK?

So, yeah. It's been a rough week. We have our 12 week appointment on Wednesday, so you know I'll be talking to him about this. I can barely keep anything down... and forget vitamins. I can barely look at them without gagging. #hotmess alert. This poor kid.

How far along: 11 weeks 6 days

Size of baby:  A lime, apparently!

Physical symptoms: Sore boobs. Bloated on and off. Exhausted. Super sensitive to smells, very "gaggy", crazy nauseous, and VOMITING a ton (see above post, haha). Some weird cravings/food aversions. The weird dreams are back.

Weight gain/loss: Same! No gain, no loss.

Maternity clothes: Not yet!

Stretch marks: I swear I can see some starting on my chest, but E swears I'm crazy.

Sleep: On and off. Sometimes I sleep for a couple of hours and BOOM! I'm awake and can't fall back asleep, other times I'm out like a log for like 10-12 hours. E's been reallllly great about letting me sleep when I'm asleep, even though it drives me crazy when I try to take a nap, wake up hours later and he says "you obviously needed the rest!" even though my whole afternoon is now gone.

Best moment since last week: Seeing my in-laws for the first time since we told them. We hadn't seen any family yet and it was really nice to get the hugs.

Movement: Not that I can feel!

Cravings/Aversions: Sweet things still mostly taste "off". I've started to crave them but it's always disappointing when I eat them because it doesn't taste right. Still want spicy things- not sour as much anymore, except lemonade occasionally. Cooked tomatoes still make me gag (pasta sauces, etc). Chicken, meat and fish (raw or cooked) are still grossing me out-- occasionally crave gefilte fish (baked "my" way). Veggie sushi with really spicy wasabi is my jam but I've only had it like 2x. Oh! And I can't believe I haven't mentioned this but I crave "butter sandwiches" almost constantly. It's a piece of whole wheat bread, with thin chunk of butter laid out on 1/2 of the slice, then I fold it in half, and.... eat it. Everyone's grossed out by it. Except me. And I finally got E to try a bite the other night and he actually said it's not that bad. I think people think it involves way more butter than it does, but they're reallllly thin slices. I have days when that's all I want to eat.

Gender: I started calling it a "he" this week. Idk!

Labor signs: Hopefully not for 6+ months!

Belly button:  Innie

What I miss:  Real sushi, deli meat, soft cheeses, caffeine!!! And alcohol when I'm at an event where people are drinking.

What I am looking forward to: The 12 week appointment on Wednesday!! I haven't had an ultrasound in over 3 weeks and I'm freaaaaaking out... Paranoia is in full force. Also looking forward to getting out of the first trimester, the nausea (hopefully) subsiding, and kind of far off but the 4 month mark (when we'll tell the rest of our family and close friends and not keep it as an official secret anymore).