Anyway, this has been the week of awkward comments.
Yesterday I went to my first shift at work in a long time. I've gone to a couple of trainings in the last couple of weeks but I haven't been to any actual shifts. The issue was that I had been doing morning shift (6:30am-9:30am) at a group home for women with special needs, which is great because it's time and a half. Buuuuut that's when my RE appointments are. Bloodwork is 6:30-8am. Hoorumph. Also, I was avoiding work like the plague during my 2ww because my job involves a lot of heavy lifting, and... y'know. I was scared. So whatever, I didn't have an appointment yesterday and my boss asked me if I could cover a shift, so I did. And wouldn't you know, we were severely understaffed and I ended up majorly pulling a muscle in my back. I came home and tried to sleep it off and was actually about 90% successful, but now I've been awake since 10pm. Haha. Ughhh.
While I was at work, one of my supervisors asked me if I'm just filling in during emergencies these days. I shrugged and said I guess that's pretty accurate. She looked at me incredulously and said "I don't know how you can just do nothing all day. Don't you get bored? What do you do??" Ahem. While I was picking my jaw up off the floor I had time to stop myself from slapping her. She has no freaking clue what's going on in my life, but my bosses know that I'm taking this time off because of a medical issue. Maybe she missed that memo, but c'mon. No one just sits at home all day doing nothing. And besides that, she and I are both observant Orthodox Jews. In our circles, birth control just isn't the norm. You use it if you need a break in between kids, if you have a health issue, if you don't want more kids. But we've been married for almost 5 years. People just don't put off having kids for that long around here. She absolutely knows there's an issue. And that's why her question caught me so off guard... Idk.
This past weekend I met a woman. We live in a large Jewish community where people feel very much entitled to know everyone else's business. So when I met this woman she started up with the usual 20 questions that women in the community normally ask. What's your name? What's your maiden name? Where are you from? Oh, do you know x, y and z? No? How long have you been married? 4.5 years... you don't have any children? Oh, then what do you do with your second bedroom??
Yep. Here's some advice I should take... someone from another blog (sorry I can't remember who!) posted this yesterday and it felt so fitting:
Here from Mel's Round-up. Awkward comments can be hard to take. But I always think they say more about the person saying them, than about whoever (usually us) is on the receiving end. And the "what do you do all day?" question always, ALWAYS, makes me think how dull their lives must be if they can't imagine being able to fill their time.
ReplyDelete(Not to mention, the fact that sometimes IF is like a full-time job.)
You're right, IF totally is a full time job sometimes! We have an IUI scheduled for tomorrow morning and my boss just texted me to find out what morning shifts I can do in February... right when I'll potentially be starting up a new cycle/morning monitoring again if there's no BFP. Ahhh.
DeleteI also wonder what the issue is with them not knowing how to fill their time.... this particular coworker of mine works full time, has a kid, and is in school. So I get that she's about 100x busier than I am on any given day. But c'mon. I can think of about a million things that need to get done day-to-day, let alone things I'd *like* to be doing, y'know? I'm never sitting at home, eating bon bons and bored. ;)
Oh the comments. "How are you you doing? Oh, still having up and down days? Well, I guess it will take a little while longer." Are you kidding me? My baby died less than 3 months ago. Yes, there are still bad days. I'm sorry that you are dealing with it. The nosy questions get met too.
ReplyDelete100%. 3 months is nothing. I'm so sorry that you're having to go through what you're dealing with. Questions like that make me wonder if these people have ever lost anybody close to them, you know? I lost my best friend 7 years ago and while it's obviously gotten a million times better/easier than it was that first year, there are STILL occasional days where I feel down or in a rut. I don't think it's normal not to... and I can't imagine how much more so that'd be true of losing a baby. Hang in there. :(
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